The process of transformation happens gradually and can, at times, be like living on a slow-motion roller coaster. If transformation happened quickly, we wouldn’t be able to comprehend or integrate into our daily lives the many levels of change and lessons being learned.

Adversity is the catalyst that provides us with opportunity to enter into and move gracefully (or not) through change. Most transformational cycles present themselves as challenges. The speed and smoothness with which we experience the happenings of our lives is directly affected by whether we see them as challenges (read “problems”) or opportunities.

Being willing to push past our boundaries of what is comfortable and allowing the full expression and range of our human emotions through transformation facilitates the learning of compassion for ourselves – this is the beginning of self-love. And when we can love ourselves, we can have compassion and love for others.

Be willing to embrace change as it arrives and trust that you, too, will find your way, just as water finds its way through the tiniest cracks and around the rocks in the stream bed.

The cycle of the butterfly is a mirror of the natural flow of creation. There is no resistance in the butterfly through the four stages of its metamorphosis. Resistance would prevent the completion of the cycle that allows the caterpillar to become a butterfly. Transformation offers us the opportunity to deepen our connection to others and to the Divine and to accept creation as it is – perfection!  This acceptance allows us to live a more colorful and fulfilled life.

So many people say they’re too old or too set in their ways to change, that it’s too late or it doesn’t matter. This old belief is one that is on the top of my list of “things that need to change” immediately. Ah, but how do we get people who think this way to see it as a belief that needs to change?

You can absolutely make changes within yourself that can result in “lightening up” your attitude so that you can stop resisting change and so that you can eliminate negative thinking. Thus, you can move toward a more positive and powerful way of being. If you are willing to let go of thinking that traps you into stagnation, and you are humble enough to seek forgiveness or forgive someone you feel has wronged you, you are at the beginning of the road to transformation.

When I first started my meditation practice, I had no idea what it was going to turn into. I had no real expectation and no sense of what meditation was really all about. I didn’t know it was the medium by which one could connect with the Divine.

But, somehow, I stuck with the practice, and by taking those initial “baby steps”, I have been ultimately able to leave my cocoon and spread my wings like the butterfly. As I take those first few forays into the open air, I might crash – and maybe even find myself tempted to crawl back into the cocoon. Eventually, though, my wings strengthen with practice, and I fly the air currents that lead me back to the Divine.

Our human journeys are different from those of a butterfly because we have many opportunities to morph, and the butterfly has only one. In some unspoken way my initial commitment to sitting quietly served as a signal that I was ready. As a result of my commitment to the meditative process, the messages started to flow. I went into each meditation with pen and paper handy, jotting down my experiences, my interpretations of what I was sensing, the words that would come, perhaps an image, or “a knowing” in my body.

I am so glad that I realized the importance of journaling because I had a lot of doubt about what was coming through. Our guides and Angels don’t communicate in human language. For a while, I thought it was me making it all up. But, when I read those journal entries, I could easily pick out the ones that were from the Divine. I’ll admit, there were times I could see my ego trying to take front and center, but I could tell the difference between entries driven by ego and those coming from my guides and Angels.

Beginning of my journal entries:

November 5, 2014 Meditation: There was bright light all around me and then I felt a strong energy surround me, completely wrapping around me, merging with me. I felt loved, comforted, and supported and had a feeling that everything was okay, that I was okay. I felt that this was an Angel and that he was cleansing me of the sludge I had encountered in my life, sludge that was keeping me from connecting more deeply within. I sensed that John Douglas would have a strong impact in my life.

At the time I journaled this, I did not know that the moment you sign up to attend a John Douglas workshop, he pays you a visit, spiritually speaking. The actual workshop didn’t happen until December 13th. I had just signed up to attend my first one and, indeed, that was my first encounter with Master John Douglas.  

December 26, 2014 Meditation: I have been feeling super anxious since yesterday morning. I keep comparing myself with others who seem to have all the credentials and training – qualities I don’t feel I have that will support what I am being called to do. I constantly question, doubt, and am fearful of this. I know this affects my vibration – which only impedes my desired outcome.

The sense I got during this meditation was that all this “stuff” coming up had to do with the spiritual work I am doing and that I just need to let go of any judgment of it and let it be.

A message from Spirit came through early this morning, and I had to get up to write it down: There are no shortcuts to enlightenment. You must live it to be it!

December 28, 2014 Meditation: I saw myself living in a warm beachy climate and meditating on my porch, walking onto the beach, sitting on the beach with my computer, writing…the inspiration flowing through my body into my fingers and into the document. My hair was long and flowing, my body was healthy and glowing; I was strong and happy.

At the time I wrote this journal entry, I lived in Northern California, not having any idea that I would be going through a divorce, moving out of the Bay Area and eventually settling in Santa Barbara, California, two years later.

April 2, 2015 Automatic Writing Meditation:

Me: I feel ready to step into my shoes, take my next steps, and share my work with the world. How am I to do this? What are the best ways in which to serve others and myself?

Spirit: Wait; have patience.

Me: Can you please tell me?

Spirit: Answers and help are on their way. Be patient. This is a very important step for you, and we want you to proceed with all the information you will need to make the statement and impact we both want.

Me: Okay.

Spirit: Trust us; we have your best interest, and that of all the people you will serve, at heart. You will have more than enough support – this is what you came to do. You are on track so don’t push.

Me: You’re right. I have worked way too hard.

Spirit: Just keep writing. There is much to share. Don’t worry: you won’t run out of ideas. We will make sure of that…lol.

Me: I know I am here to serve and share my experiences of a lifetime and the wisdom gained. How am I to earn a living? I crave balance and equanimity in my life.

Spirit: There is no need to worry. Your work will be recognized and fulfilling. Your services are and will be monetized and will allow you to live comfortably. You still must change your perceptions of what “enough” is. Step away from the outside world of materialism. Do not compare yourself with others. Know your worth. Feel it; sense it. There is no one in this world like you. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You must accept this at a very deep level. With John Douglas’s help, you will achieve this. Be open to many changes and stay focused on the writing and staying healthy and balanced.

Me: Thank you for all your guidance.

Spirit: We are always listening.

This session was quite powerful in that I first went into a meditative state and then asked questions of my Angels, jotting them down as I interpreted them.

May 7, 2015 Meditation: I saw myself as a young child, a young teen, a young adult, searching, and searching, for others’ acceptance. I wanted so much to fit in and to be a part of conversations, of the fun I saw others having – sleepovers, friends hanging out together. I just never seemed to find an opening. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know how to change myself in order to be accepted. It felt as though everyone was in front of me but couldn’t hear or see me.

I felt invisible. 

This was very painful, and I was very depressed and sad most of the time. I even thought of ending things but was too afraid. I grew up always feeling afraid. Afraid no one would ever love me, feeling there was something wrong with me. Wondering, “Am I ugly?”, “Am I fat?” “Do I smell bad…look bad?” When I was a teenager, I thought my hair was weird and developed a whole complex around that, too.

I was searching for love everywhere, except inside of me. It was always inside of me the whole time; I just didn’t know it yet. Love and acceptance were a part of me. My ego took me on quite a ride, but I now know love is me and I am love. I am understanding, I am acceptance, I am compassion, I am truth!

My search is finally over. I have found everything I had been searching for, and it was all within me the whole time, with me wherever I was.

I am deeply, deeply grateful for discovering and re-connecting with my true Divinity and my connection to Source and the Universe. I know that I have always had Angels watching over me, protecting me from harm. I understand now that my guides and I discussed this path before I came to earth. I came here to discover that I am Divine love.

I came here to discover the truth for myself, then to share this message with others through writing, meditation and speaking. I am so grateful to be on this journey. Yes, I have come a long way, but it has been so worth it to be finally in this place of peace and understanding of the purpose the journey has served.

Thank you, Master Angels, for accompanying me on this difficult and necessary journey. I surrender to you now. I am devoted to doing what I came here to do, to be. My search is over! I am worthy!

End of journal entries.

So much of my writing comes from my experiences, the deepening of my awareness and the profound joy I feel in my heart to have made this connection with the Divine, this discovery after so many years of not knowing that this connection was always there.

Back in February of 2019, I wrote a piece called “How do we BE Love?” I wrote about my search for the missing piece within me so that I could be love.

You may read the entire piece by clicking this link.

My connection to the Angelic Realm and to God is the most important part of my existence and will always take precedence over anything and anyone in my life. It is through this connection that I receive the nourishment, the knowledge and blessings that allow me to BE compassion, patience, kindness and love for all those I encounter.

My hope in sharing this article with you is that you, too, will make and cultivate your own connection with the Divine that will empower and nourish you and allow you to live and experience the full spectrum of joy!

I invite you to become a part of my community. Join the conversation and share your comments through my contact page as it relates to the ideas in “our” blog and monthly newsletters.